Stupid jerk of a husband is acting like a backseat parent today.
Aiyana saved up two days worth of poop for one diaper. This caused a slight diaper blowout - nothing major except a minorly stained onesie. This should be an easy job right? Remove dirty onesie, dispose of dirty diaper, put on clean diaper, treat stain on dirty onesie, put on clean clothes.
Husband believes that poop on onesie transfers to every object that it touches and that each object that has been touched by the dirty onesie needs to be cleaned/burned/thrown out. Therefore since the dirty onesie touched the clean changing pad, which touched her clean clothes, which touched her crib sheet and snowsuit -- all of the above need to be washed.
I figure that since I didn't rub the stain on the onesie into the changing pad and the baby decided that all her pooping needs were concluded, the changing pad is still clean - ergo everything that touches the changing pad is still clean.
Therefore, in his eyes, I smeared poop on the following items: changing pad, clean clothes, crib sheet, and snowsuit. This of course makes me a bad parent to him because she could get ill from all that fecal matter in close proximity to her.
We were going to go out for a walk together with the dog. However, he was so upset that I didn't follow his procedure for diapering the baby that he took the dog for a walk himself.
When he got home I told him that I felt abandoned, hurt, and frustrated that he just walked out on me. All I got in response was: "Would you rather I just get angry with you and we just have an argument over it?" Then he changed the subject immediately to an analogy of stepping in dog feces and walking into the house with said fecal matter on the bottom of the shoes. Then the next person walking in the fecal footprints with clean socks.
Later on, I am typing this up into a virtual notepad, he is lying crosswise on the bed zonked out and the baby is asleep in the crib. I hear an enormous thud from the bedroom. I get up from the computer and hurry into the bedroom to see what's happened. He's on his knees on floor between the crib and the bed. I see him try to pull himself up with all his weight in his arms using the crib WITH HER IN THE CRIB. The whole crib tipped towards him and then he let go of the crib. He explained that his legs gave way and he can't bend his knees. He was trying to get up to put his glasses in their case on the dresser. The baby started to cry from the shock of what happened to her crib. I picked her up and told him to use the bed to get himself up. I told him I was mad that he didn't think about what he was doing and used the crib with baby in it to pull himself up. He did manage to walk 3' to the dresser and put his glasses in their case and to get back to bed. His legs giving way has happened to him before when he's very tired -- but he won't go see a doctor because he says it's from stress & being overtired.
How does this make him a backseat parent? So far the most he's done for her in terms of her personal care is to undress her, dress her in simple onesies, and conduct half a bath. He has not changed a single diaper in his life. He claims that she knows the difference when Daddy diapers her and when Mommy diapers her and that she struggles when Daddy tries to diaper her but not when Mommy does. Therefore he further claims that in order to change her diaper he will "need to break her legs" in order to do it successfully. So he knows absolutely nothing about how to diaper a child, yet he is willing to tell me all about how to do it and what not to do.
I am hesitant to leave her alone with him for more than 15 minutes. He does not know how to handle her crying. He will sit on the computer typing away while she might be crying or whining in her bouncy seat, swing, or crib. If I am out of the house, he won't pick her up for fear of shaking her in frustration that she won't stop crying. When I am in the house and otherwise occupied, I have to tell him to pick her up, or . I can understand her crying because she wants food and Dad doesn't have the boobs to feed her with, but for god's sake you can at least pick her up, comfort her, and offer her a clean pinky finger to suck on while you wait for Mommy to come back.